My husband and a couple buddies went to see “I Love You, Man.” It’s a movie about a guy who gets along great with women, but is so inept at making male friends he has to go on several embarrassing “man dates” to find a best man for his wedding.

The comedy milks familiar first-date situations, made all the more funny with two “dudes”: bad chemistry, awkward silences, the next-day phone call dilemma.

Hans, Jeff and Lonnie made a night of it — the old dinner and a movie — a bonafide man date of their own. I couldn’t resist a little teasing when I found the movie stub in my husband’s pocket and jokingly asked, “Should I save this for your scrapbook?”

But I was thrilled to see him bonding with his friends. I know from 10 years of relationship training that he needs more in his life than just me.

“Man expert” Martin Brossman has come to similar conclusions. His first marriage was a white-knuckled obstacle course of trying to fix everything that his ex-wife said was wrong with him. After that, she still left him. He ended up with a therapist, who got him in touch with his feelings.

Then he started crying in his cubicle at IBM.

“I was a basket case,” he said. He’d have to hole himself up somewhere so his co-workers wouldn’t think he’d lost his mind. What was he doing wrong?

It took 13 years for Brossman to find answers. Last week I, along with about 30 other curious women in Cary, attended his latest workshop: “What’s New About Men: What Women Need to Know.” When I told my husband I was going, he said, “I can answer that: nothing!” Now we’re even for the movie stub.

“Men need food from other men,” Brossman said, describing his once-monthly discussion groups that have grown from 12 to over 100 and have been going strong for more than a decade. “I started to experience a type of connection I’d never experienced before.”

About 30 women sipped wine, ate crackers and let Brossman talk for about 15 minutes until they couldn’t contain themselves and let the questions fly:

“What do I do if my husband tells me he’s sad?”

“How do I motivate him?”

“What can I do for my son, who doesn’t have a father?”

The answers varied, but one key point was clear: Women have a lot of power over their men. Brossman said men have a basic need to be honored. Women have a need to be cherished. It made me think of my husband surprising me with a laptop and a desk when I wanted to revive my writing career. I told him he was my hero, and I felt like a brainy princess. It worked out for both of us.

Brossman was bold in his statements about what he calls “icky, passive males.” He gave an example of when a friend broke an important promise. He said he left a message on his answering machine that masked how he really felt — which was angry and hurt.

His friend ended up surprising him by asking what he could do to regain his trust. Brossman blurted out: “25 push ups.” And he did them on the phone, right then and there. It made an impression: Men value action.

“We’ve been forcing the feminine component in boys,” he said. “He’s male, so let’s drug him. He needs to sit still longer.”

I know my husband would rather find a way to fix my problem than hear me talk about it for hours. I know this from trial and error, and also from his glazed expression.

Brossman suggests letting men report their feelings without having to endlessly explain them. Just listen. He said men are vulnerable to shame, so don’t make fun of his tool bench or “toys.” Don’t give subtle hints or use too many words.

“It’s like dog training — I hate to say that,” he said. “But when they do something good, acknowledge it. You have more power than you think you have.”

So here goes. I’d like to take this opportunity to give a message to my husband: Thanks for 10 years of cleaning the really dirty dishes I leave to soak overnight, watching over our bills so I don’t have to and never making me learn how to fix my own computer.

I love you, man.

Visit Brossman’s Web site at coachingsupport.com.