The scene could have been anywhere in America: a smoky bar filled with an after-work crowd, boisterous laughter and lots of drinks — both hard and soft — to soothe away the tensions of the day.

But amid all the earthy familiarity one group was just getting acquainted.

It’s a new scene happening all over America — groups of strangers using Internet sites to find friends and community in a mobile, transient society.

Cary is no different.

“For most people the only people they know are the people they work with,” said Bridget Raab, a 27-year-old redhead, said as she waited for other members of the Cary Girls’ Night Out group and Triangle Singles group to arrive at the Back 9 bar in Cary for karaoke night.

Raab, a personal trainer who lives in Cary, had organized the groups through Meetup.com, an Internet site gaining popularity around the country as a place where people can organize groups of like-minded people.

It’s a useful tool for finding friends, Raab said, especially in a place like the Triangle with lots of transplants. Actually the Triangle area, which includes Cary, is one of the top cities for the site, which was started five years ago and now counts 5 million members and 46,315 groups on its roll.

The user-friendly site allows people to set up their own groups or peruse myriad others in their area. The Web site then showcases the “meet ups” of each of the groups, showing times and locations to the people who join them.

And whatever group you’re looking for you’re sure to find it, from the specific to the general.

Are you a stay-at-home mom? There’s a group for you that meets in Holly Springs. Like to tickle your tastebuds? There’s a group in Cary devoted to exotic dining.

Here are just a few of the local Meetup groups to be found in Cary.

Cary Girls’ Night Out

Founding date: August 2006

Members: 428

Meet ups so far: 278

Bridget Raab joined the group simply because she wanted to meet new people. As a personal trainer she works from home and making new friends was hard.

“It’s nothing to be afraid of,” she said, noting that she thinks some people still feel unsafe or that there is a stigma to meeting people through the Internet.

Raab said that her group always meets in public spaces, which is good.

“I think it’s accepted,” said Briana Pridgen, also 27, who had showed up for the karaoke night. She decided to use Meetup because friends had been telling her, the analytical chemist, that she needed to get out of the house more.

She was busy looking for a song to sing during the karaoke contest and was thinking seriously about a Dixie Chicks theme.

Raab said that about 11 people showed up at the event, obviously far fewer than the 400-plus on the group’s roll. But that’s typical, she said; people come when they can. You could go to several different meet ups of one group and meet different people each time.

Cary Bellydance Meetup

Founding date: July 2007

Members: 159

Meet ups so far: 71

Mara Cohen started her Meetup group about a year ago when she moved to North Carolina from Florida. “Meetup is what saved my life,” said Cohen, 42, who has a home-based real estate business with her husband.

Her Cary-based Meetup group had allowed her to find friends and continue the form of dancing that she loves so much.

The group’s meet ups include dance sessions and just-for-fun social outings as well, such as bowling and picnics. She loves how safe the Meetup site feels, since it allows an option of showing the address of future meet ups only to members. And guess who has the last say in who can be a member of the group? Because she is the organizer she does and she doesn’t let just anybody into the group. Potential members really have to love belly dancing — no single men looking for a date need apply, she said.

The Apex Fitness Walkers & Social Club

Founding date: February 2008

Members: 92

Meet ups so far: 16

Safety was a key priority for Pat Hayes as well. That’s why when she started her Apex walking group she always made sure to have a friend with her on the walks.

She has loved using the site to meet other people.

“The key is finding an activity that you enjoy,” said Hayes, who was already a regular walker at Apex parks before starting a Meetup group. “At least if you don’t meet anybody, you enjoy the walk.”

She said that the Web site has been a real crutch in a time of change after she ended a long-term relationship. It’s hard just to meet people, let alone date, after emerging from a relationship, she said. Meetup helped a lot with that.

The Raleigh Area Gay Parents Meetup Group

Founding date: November 2007

Members: 53

Meet ups so far: 12

An ended relationship was also what prompted Kelly Harrelson, 39, to organize this Cary-based Meetup group. Mother to son Jack, 5, she wanted to find friends for him and a support system for herself.

The group does fun things — like bowling and parties — but the parents can also share needed information with each other that those in the mainstream don’t think about.

Which neighborhoods are gay tolerant?

A question like that is an example of one that the group members can help answer for each other, Harrelson said.

“It just made sense,” Harrelson said of joining Meetup.