At the start of each New Year, tradition calls for us to make a New
Year’s resolution. Typically it’s to lose something, weight loss being
the mother of all good intentions. But you can also quit smoking or
cursing or spending too much time online. The list is endless. Problem
is, we’re not too good at losing in this great nation of ours.So what about focusing on gaining something for your New Year’s
resolution? There’s a cheerful thought. I’m going to try to be a better
bowler. Actually, that’s a little ambitious. I’m going to try to just
bowl better.I thought of this New Year’s Day when we went bowling — my idea, by the
way, which was met with several moans and sighs. I am trying to start
traditions, people. Will you please cooperate?If you’ve not been bowling with your kids yet, there’s a great feature
where you can activate bumpers that block off the gutters so that the
kids hit a pin each time. This feature can be used with adults too. I
employed it on New Year’s Day, after bowling a 52 with friends
Thanksgiving weekend.So, my husband, Jerry, bowls five strikes in a row, and my 5-year-old
son, Tyler, is doing great too. Everybody’s happy. I’m just focusing on
my swing (is it swing or stance? Bowling terminology will be part two of
my resolution).Jerry tells me I’m turning my body too much, among other things. My
husband, who hasn’t been bowling in 20 years, tells me this, he of the
five strikes. Where is the justice?I run up to the line, my feet pounding the wood floors in a fashion
ridiculous even to me. As I get ready to hurl the ball toward the lane,
because I really do slap it down, my fingers slip out of the holes.Backwards it goes, my 9-pounder heading straight into the stands (or
tables? Spectator area?). A man gallantly jumps up to retrieve it and
hands it back to me. I’m so embarrassed. My husband rolls his eyes. The
bowler next to me jokes: “Am I safe back here?”Yeah, boy. It’s all good until people you don’t know are laughing at
you. At you, not with you. Committing a faux pas like that just might
get my mug shot posted on a little bulletin board behind the shoe
counter. “Do not rent shoes to this woman.” You just never know.So that’s it. I’m going to learn to bowl better. I’m not sure how or
when. Maybe when all the kids are in school. Maybe late at night. Maybe
by summer I can bowl with the bumpers down. On second thought, that,
too, is a little ambitious. If I can just keep the ball moving forward,
that’s good enough for me. That’s not a bad philosophy for 2009,
actually. I think I’ll keep it.