The dawning of each new school year inevitably means a brand-new teacher. The kids are always a little nervous about this and we adults always say, “It’ll be fine; you’ll do great,” but I’m feeling like I need a little pep talk myself—especially after embarking on a recent trip to buy school supplies.

Most of the items on the list were simple enough—glue sticks, pencils, notebooks—until we got to the folders. I needed folders with brads and folders without brads. What’s a brad? Is it the same thing as a prong? It must be. I needed purple, yellow, red and green folders. No purple to be found. A weird blue would work. Also on the list was a folder with a poly-string tie. I gave up on that one, but I think I have a reasonable substitute.

Not that I’m complaining about back-to-school, mind you. I’m like that man in the Staples commercial singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I am a little worried, however, about what the classroom lessons will bring.

I’ve found the teachers are exceedingly good at incorporating the kids’ experiences into the lessons. And the things that happen in our house always sound quite odd when they come out of my six-year-old son’s mouth during circle time.

For instance, there was the time the class did a lesson on rules and each child had to name a rule in their home. Tyler said the biggest rule in our house was, “There will be no laughing in this house.” My husband Jerry always yells that when we get the giggles. It is, of course, a joke, but I’m pretty sure that context was lost on the class.

That was followed by a lesson on nicknames. Jerry (him again!) calls Tyler “rodent.” It’s terrible, I know, and I can’t stop it. Who calls a child rodent? The teacher never did ask me about it, but when Tyler let it slip that he told the class it was his nickname, I groaned inwardly, hoping she didn’t think we were as depraved as we sounded.   

Then there’s the matter of Sister, our dog, which completely confused the lesson of brothers and sisters. That one I did have to explain. It took a while to sink in because Tyler talks about Sister quite a bit and, I’ll admit, the nomenclature is confusing. Sister went from being a human sister to a cat and then, finally, at the very end of the year, the dog that she is.

It’s occurring to me now as I write this that two-thirds of the problem is my husband, not the lessons. I’m stuck with him though.  It’ll be fine, right? Teachers understand these things. I bet they even have a few husbands of their own.